So, me in all my hyper anal planning tendencies have been planning my vow renewal since I got married. We didn’t have the big, medieval themed wedding we’d originally wanted because we decided we didn’t want to wait. We were blessed with a smaller, more intimate wedding thanks to my father and step mother. That being said, we agreed when we went with the smaller wedding that we’d plan our dream wedding for a vow renewal. I, in my ever growing insanity, have been planning it way ahead of time. Why is my anal retentive planning relevant? Because we want to do a Handfasting vow renewal!
The term “tying the knot” stems from this practice, because the officiant literally ties your hands together with cord or ribbon. But it wasn’t originally for the wedding itself, like it’s used today. Back when the ancient Celts used this practice it was for a couple’s engagement more or less. Some people used handfasting as a kind of “trial marriage”, where they’d have a year to decide if they wanted to make it permanent. Or if they’d separate. The first recorded handfasting wedding ceremony, in the sense we know them today, happened in 1970. Since then, Wiccans and other Neopagans have used the symbolism to make their own commitments to their partners.
The ceremony now happens for all types of people and religions. Something about being tied together resonates with all religions and walks of life. It’s so popular that when I searched it all the big wedding sites were the first articles I found. They were absolutely not what I was looking for, but very informative. It is interesting to see how it’s being done now, compared to the past. And yet I still want something totally different from the norm…
See, I’m caught between having a mundane ceremony that won’t make my very Christian family uncomfortable. Or having it blatantly witchy and potentially causing most of my family to decline the invitation. I’m torn because originally, I was gonna have my very Baptist step dad “officiate” the ceremony for us. Since we’re already married whether he’s ordained or not won’t matter. That’s how I was going to balance my father walking me down the aisle. My dad was going to be the priest essentially. Now that I plan to come out to my family as a witch in the very near future (too near for my comfort…) I now really want to throw caution to the wind. Just be like “fuck it, let’s go all out and cast a circle, and make this a whole ass witchy ritual!”
My wonderful husband is no help in the matter either. Part of him doesn’t care, part of him is a people pleaser. He just wants to put on armor, carry a giant sword, and have an excuse to parade around. He wants to live his best life, which will happen either way. We’re many, MANY years away yet, as 2033 is still over a decade away. But if I’m going all out, and being able to afford this shit, I need to start collecting and planning now.
What are your thoughts? Make my family more comfortable and go with the original two father inclusive plan? Or should we say “to Hel with that” and beg Safire (surprise lol) to lead it as a ritual?
